You Are The Reason For My Existence, Maa
Our family has a Sunday ritual of sitting together and chatting while having evening tea. So, according to the ritual, I prepared tea for the whole family and served it with some tangy snacks on a Sunday evening. While having the conversation, my mother was narrating the childhood incidents of all the siblings. Well, it’s her favorite thing to remember the memories and maybe that energizes her. So, suddenly the conversation shifted toward me. While she was narrating the story, she went on telling about the situation when I was about to land on this earth (Well, I am not a plane hahahahah). All the grand ladies of my family including my grandmother and maternal grandmother were against my birth.
That was because I was the third child to be born and they were afraid that what if a girl was born. Already my mother had a boy and a girl, so the probability of getting a girl child was the only fear in the mind of all the females. The irony is that even they belonged to the same clan. So, when it was time for her delivery, my father’s grandmother (Yes she was alive then….Old ladies you know) accompanied my mother to the hospital. Meanwhile, the doctor came with the news that a girl child was born. Then, the grandmother started howling at the doctor claiming that a boy was born and the doctors have exchanged the baby with some other family.
The next moment nurse came into the room holding me in her hand and gave me to my mother. The moment she took me in her hands and saw my face her inner motherly affection made my existence consistent. That very moment my mother burst out in anger and said, “She is my daughter and I have given her birth. No matter if she is a girl. I will keep her.” My father’s grandmother insisted she not keep me and hand it over to the hospital but she didn’t agree. Further, when the news of my birth spread amongst the family, both my grandmother and maternal grandmother were angry like anything. They hated it to know that again a girl was born into the family. But when they saw me they became eager to hold me and play with me. Not boasting but yes I was born beautiful.
After a few days, everyone turned out to be happy. My siblings used to play with me the whole day. They used to change my nappies, make me laugh, bring toys for me and carry me wherever they go because I was like a doll for the family. But yes! I am coming back to the moment. When my mother narrated the incident, I hurried down to see my face in the mirror with a doubt in my head about whether I was exchanged in real or not. And guess what I laughed like anything because yes I am a carbon copy of my mother. Also having nonsense thoughts made me feel like a dumbo.
So, that was the day when I realized that I exist peacefully on this earth just because of my mother. Had she not insisted upon that day to keep me with her, I wouldn’t have been with my family today. How would I explore the beauty of this world and the abundant feelings a human has if my mother wasn’t there that day? Today when I argue with her or scream at her for certain reasons, there happens to be a space in my life. Deep within when I think about it, I realize she is already facing a lot, has struggled a lot, and gave up her career, hobbies, everything, just for us. So why should I give her an extra burden of sadness?
On this mother’s day, I want to salute my mother through my writing for all that she has showered on me. For the day when she fought with people who were sad about my birth, I am proud of her. I am scared of the fact that she will leave me one day and that will be the biggest loss of my life. I cannot count the hours that she has spent on me and for my betterment. Neither I can measure the affection she has for me nor can I return it to her. Because she will always be the giver as she has enough love for all her children. All we can do for her as her children are adore that love and affection and make her feel special whenever she turns low.
Mother’s day is not just a single day to make every mother on this earth special. But it’s a day to make them feel that they exist and that their existence is way too important. Every year on mother’s day I feel special apart from my mother because I realize that this day is important for my existence too. I know my mother will not cherish it if I throw a party for her or gift her some lavish presents. But a glass of water from my hand and her favorite dish cooked by me will be all for her. No one else will know her better than me because she is my mother and I am proud of her.