The First Salary….. Should I cry?

It was a bad Monday morning as usual. Dishes piled up on one side of the wall, clothes scattered on the other and the suffocating room was stinking like a rotten egg. How pathetic it was to just open your eyes, full of sleep, and head back to work. My shoulders and neck were paining like the needle piercing deep inside badly. Somehow I managed to open my laptop, freshen up and get over a cup of tea.

One month of work and it was going all smooth as the training period was still on. Every minute learning, newness every day, and new stuff on board. Life wasn’t the same. It was actually a new normal for me. But this new normal was destined to give me responsibilities topped up with stress and confidence lashed up with pride.

Yes, it was me. The angry, short-tempered, bold lady who did fasten her belts for beginning the journey of a self-dependent woman. I cook my own food, wash my dishes, clothes, decorate, clean, and manage my room, buy all the stuff starting from “mahine ka raashan” to “sabji” to “sanitary pads” to “pillow covers and bedsheet” and whatnot. Not a big deal. Everyone does that. In this fast-moving world, when people are reaching the moon and space and mountains and highest peaks, this all rant wasn’t stuffed to cheer out loud.

But it was. Actually, it was something that energized me after a long while. It’s something that made me happy with my own decisions for the very first time. It was like a turning point in the pages of my life. I was getting more cautious, practical, and understanding. Money was not just a piece of paper for me. But it was each and every drop squeezed out of the efforts put by me every day.

Well, here came the day when all my efforts were gonna get a worthy value. My first salary, in fact, the first full-on responsible “mehnat ki kamai” that I was yearning for a long time. But this amount made me crazy like hell. There’s a moment behind it. Let’s catch on to it.

It was the day I was working as usual. I took a break, had my lunch, and then moved back to work. Suddenly, a notification popped on my phone. I swiped and saw. It was a certain amount getting credited into my account. I was dumb sitting idle at that moment. Then and there, I called my father (ATM) to ask if he sent that amount. It was “No” from his side. The next on my list were my siblings. I called both my sister and brother. But again, there was a “NO” from both of them.

I had no freelancing amount pending on my list. No transactions to be received, nothing. Almost all sorted and I was sitting clueless. My face was red like cherry tomatoes and my mind burning like a forest fire. What was happening? From terrorism to fraud to all evil acts, all these thoughts did a merry go round inside my mind. I was in my wildest thoughts and about to burst out. Till then, I got a message from my HR stating that they have sent me my salary for the month.

Oh my God.!!!! This was Ekta Kapoor’s daily soap moment. It was all chaos whether to cry or shout out of joy. But soon, I could sense that fire extinguishing and that shocked face disappearing away getting replaced by that confident smile. Yes. I had received my first ever salary. No matter how much it was, it was all for me.

It turned out crazy and haunting for me but it’s like an unforgettable story for me. I would wait for that day to give a speech on an auspicious stage telling people about my first salary and achievements so far. All that hopeless feeling felt shy and went away from my mind. I was welcoming new happiness and responsibilities with my arms opened giving them space in my new journey.

That stinky smell wasn’t any more around me. That pricking pain was now seeming joyous. I could feel flowers and aroma by my side. It was all because of me or my mind. But something was there getting a place in my realization list. Happiness and grief are all inside our mind, a result of our acts. But now I was keener on taking this journey to a great extent. I am ready to explore more. For now, cheers to the first achievement….!!!

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Medha Shukla

I am a crazy soul but peaceful by heart. Writing heals me and art enlivens me. I am a Leo by Sunsign. https://www.quora.com/profile/Medha-Shukla-12