“I am a Girl”
I am a girl born in a small town, Brahman family, surrounded with enough conservative thoughts and in a complete Orthodox culture. Two days back, it was my birthday and I turned 25. I was very excited for the part that I am going to attain the age of 25 which is like proceeding somewhat towards maturity. Just like everyone has plans for their birthday as throwing a party, going for a trip, candle night dinner or whatsoever it may be. Similarly, I had plans to stay “happy” that day. It’s because I think you deserve to be happy on the day you were born. It’s not like for the rest of the day agony or sadness may embrace you but because birthdays are the days that give you realization about your existence and identity in this world.
But the place where I live is full of people who have a kind of disgust with the fact that I was born a girl. Basically by profession I am a budding journalist, aspiring writer and a full time media student. Taking up this profession for me as a girl in my family was in itself a challenging task. No other girl in my family has ever dared to take up something as such for their higher studies. But I find that I am born with a special energy that compels me to do things that are ‘out of box’. But yes! Again my family has a problem with this profession. It’s because they think only selfish, hypocrites and people with bad character are a part of this profession which I THINK is very WRONG. So, this continues to be the reason for rivalry between me and my family.
Well, I also had a relationship that lasted for about 7 years and then broke. There were certain factors that didn’t go well and then it was meant to get ended. Well, I am not disheartened by that fact. Of course, like every other true lover I got carried away by the emotions. But in the process of loving someone, you forget that you are yourself a completely different identity and that soul needs love and respect. So, the feeling of getting betrayed by someone you loved immensely crushes you hard. Well I am happy with the fact that I understood this human factor and saved myself from losing my identity.
Actually, the whole point of explaining my life in very brief was to mention that my plan of being “happy” on my birthday was spoiled. It failed even after trying hard to ignore those things that hurt me. It got ruined by the fact that at some point of time, you break. No matter, you have a lot of money, fancy materialistic possessions and a family to say. But you end up getting hurt. I am sure there must be girls like me in this world who are treated worse than me for the reason of just being a girl. The fact that I am a girl turns a havoc for me at times that I cannot choose to be happy for a certain duration. Is this a fault that I AM A GIRL? Or Is this a fault that I WANT TO FULFILL MY DREAMS? Every night my heart questions my mind about what is the fault. And the mind as usual with it’s smartness and diplomacy lures the heart with some illogical facts and murders the curiosity.
Why are my nights going sleepless? Why am I tagged with the word “unclean” and “Insane”? Will I be able to fly high and achieve what I want? I am pretty worried when I will get the answers to these questions. I am in a sort of dilemma about what if girls are not born. Who will give the love of a mother, who will support you like a sister, who will care for you like a wife and who will play with you like a daughter? We are humans although constructed of flesh, blood and bones but filled with emotions and expressions. When will we accept the fact that we are here in this world to spread love and accept it with open arms. Well, I just wish that my plan of staying “happy” gets executed till I turn 26. I will try hard the next time with full spirit. Because I AM A GIRL and I LOVE IT.
